Tina hit pause. This was the season finale of Road Train Romance, but she could see something wasn’t right with Cody.

‘Babe. It’s make or break for Ross and Joseph! I really think they’re going to move in to Ross’s pimped our sleeper cab together’, she urged.

Ross and Joseph’s Road Train Romance was prime water cooler chatter every Monday. The recap podcasts were drooling over it.

And Cody was all in for Ross and Joseph. Over eight gruelling episodes their road transport-based affections had blossomed, from primal lust to amour fou to real love.

But just as Ross and Joseph’s televisual entanglement strengthened, another love had come undone.

Cody’s childhood friend Mike was getting divorced. And as best man at Mike and Melissa’s wedding, Cody had been first to learn the sad news.

Cody looked up at Tina.

‘What do we do about Mike and Melissa?’, he breathed hopelessly.

‘There’s nothing we can do!’, Tina replied. Mike and Melissa had sealed their own fate.

‘But who do we go with!? Which side do we take?’ This was less a conundrum than a desperate plea.

Tina brought clarity, always: ‘Well Mike’s your mate, but he was the cheater. And Melissa’s great, but wasn’t she really part of a package deal?’

Tina was right. Always.

Cody reached for the remote. Unpaused ‘Road Train Romance’.

Twenty minutes later, as the credits rolled, Cody’s face was tear stained. His hands clasped tightly. Ross and Joseph had said goodbye for the last time. An impossible love. Ross bound for Coober Pedy, Joseph for Broome. Star-cross’d.

Knowing Road Train Romance was over unless renewed for a second season was more than Cody could bear.

‘I choose neither of them’, he said.

Tina was confused. ‘What?’, she uttered.

‘Not Mike. Not Melissa. I choose to go with neither side. I’m just going to be friends with neither’, said Cody defiantly.

A grateful smile broke over Tina’s face. A tear ran down her cheek.

‘Babe’, said Tina, ‘I think that’s the right call. I’m so proud of you.’

Cody exhaled gently. Leant back, enveloped by couch cushions. Tina snuggled in, and together they lamented the end a great love. #RossAndJosephSleeperCab4Eva